Buttholes and Milk Rivers

Milk River

Cade as the Hulk random, but he likes to "HULK SMASH" me all the time and it kinda hurts

I think today was one of my worst "kid" days! It started out early, around 630. The kids woke up and started fighting, and were already out on the trampoline by 730am. I let them go in our "cold tub" to swim. Teagan saw a bee, and freaked out, and came inside while Cade stays outside trying to kill the bee's with his water gun. So I go out and spray the bee's, I killed about 10 all together. Then the kids wanted the slide to go into the hot tub. So I go pick it up, put it in the water and Cade goes down one time and the slide breaks off. So I say oh-well I am not fixing it, because it will just break again, and I will be putting the slide back together all day. I set it aside and tell the kids do not put the slide in the water. The slide is about as long as the tub is wide. So I hear Cade crying, and I see the slide floating in the water, and Teagan is using this as some type of float device. So I yell like a crazy neighbor, and tell the kids to go inside so I don't sound like a lunatic yelling at the kids. All the while Cade keeps talking about butt holes. This is like the new funny word with the kids. Everything is butt hole this butt hole that! After my crazy moment, I decide I need to get the kids out of the house so I decide to take them to Boondocks. Well on our way there its lightning and raining, so I still go because they have an indoor gym/climb thing for the kids. Well after waiting in line 10min, and in that 10 min the had closed down all the go-karts, mini-golf and bumper boats. Anyway there are a million people, and I go through all this crap to find out Teagan is 2 inches too tall!! So they tell me only Cade can play, and if you know my kids this will not work, so we leave. I take them to Baskin Robins, then to the grocery store (my favorite place with kids) My only grocery store incident this time was the kids were kissing the deli meat glass, and licking it, in front of customers waiting and the girl getting the meat is looking at me like lady your kids are making out with my glass window. I do tell my kids that someone is going to have to clean that, and if they keep doing it they will have to clean it up, so what does Cade do? He kisses the freaking window again, and Teagan is blowing her breath on it and writing things. Anyway I got my meat, and then the kids had produce bags. Well I was at the pharmacy getting my pill and I hear some man yelling don't do that you will suffocate. And I look over and my kids have the plastic bags on their heads. So I tell them no more or the bags are mine. I collected 1 bag, from Teagan. I really thought today was a good day at the store too, haha. I did my own check out, and Cade tried to run out the front of the store, and I made Teagan go chase after him, but she is pretty much scared of EVERYTHING so Cade just came back on his own. I get a lot of crazy looks from people when he runs off, but I know he comes back, darn it. So I make it home, and pick some weeds, put my groceries away, and come inside. Con gets home and tell me he has a b-ball game to go too, so I take the kids on a jog with the dog. Con calls me the circus show, because I have Teagan on her bike, me pushing the jogger with Cade inside and a dog. To make a long night short, when I get home Cade is going to get soap in his mouth for saying Butthole and the S word. Teagan the whole time is riding in the mud, and saying she "shart" on her wheel. If you don't know what this is, I am sorry but my kids have absolutely no manners. We make it back, we go about 3 miles. This picture sums up what I have been dealing with the last few days, The "Milk River" My kids invented this a few days ago, where they pour milk onto my coffee table, and play in the river. Tonight was the 3rd milk river I have had to clean up in the last few days, so needless to say, they are both in bed! And Cade did get soap in that dirty mouth of his!!